Crock Pot Couture

Here Woody models the latest headwear from the fine small appliance company Hamiton Beach. This is a day into evening accessory as you can wear it to an event and then prepare Swedish meatballs in it later. A must have for any serious fashionista/slow cooker aficionado.

The only way to really get rid of wallpaper...

is to just get rid of the damn walls! Kenneth and crew ripped down the drywall that I had spritzed with fabric softener (making our house smell like a manic laundromat) and then vinegar (making our house smell like a giant salad bar) in several gruesome attempts to get down the wallpaper. I succeeded...but in the most heinous way possible, remember? Remember how some idjiots used WOOD GLUE to put up wallpaper? REMEMBER??? If not, then behold the awfulness:

We came to the conclusion that there was nothing that could be done to remedy this. Nothing, that is, short of putting up wood paneling. And wood paneling should never be an option. Put in the situation of having to choose evil 1970s design elements, I would rather apply shag carpeting directly to the walls. Which I have heard Tommy Lee did to a room in his house.

So we have gone from this...

to this. A fresh start is always a good thing.

Concrete bonde

The concrete truck arrived today, making our house look even more like a live action Tonka truck ad!

Our giant trucks:

Their giant trucks:

The cement truck spewed forth a slurry of concrete onto the gravel trough Woody and Kenneth had dug in our backyard and -- voila! -- we have a parking pad!

The finished product!!! Room enough for three cars and some serious unloading after Costco trips!

We also had the front walk poured, it looks great! Check out the new front door as well! It will soon be painted a deep red.

A man...and his dog...and his skid steer

Is there a better trifecta of testosterone than a man, his old biddy beagle and his trusty skid steer? Maybe, but not in B'ton. Here Maddy has stormed the piece of power equipment to better pilot it with her thumb-deprived paws:


We filled up the dumpster with nearly all of the two shed-sized piles of crap in our yard. There was lots of dirt, debris and two filthy teddy bears from under the house in there. (Like the petrified Q Tip, the filthy teddy bears were too disturbing to post in picture form.)

I tried to convince Woody that Kenneth could in fact run faster than the skid steer but he continued to try to head butt his father with the machine:

Nicest piece of disturbing junk yet

Kenneth and crew came upon this fine Wyoming keychain in the backyard and contributed it to the growing collection of disturbing junk. Though, I have to say, the weight of the keychain and the finely wrought buffalo (Bison? Is there a difference?) make me feel like we could make some good money on this artifact at one of B'ton's pawn shops...

Shutter to think

In light of the tornado that tore threw Clemson a few weeks ago, Woody and I decided to arm our house against the elements with shutters. These will no doubt fend off 50 mph winds with their unrelenting charm.

The front porch fan, house numbers and brand new mailbox are also up:

We plan on dipping Maddy in concrete and making her our house mascot.

Pergola!