Better than Splash with a mermaid

is Splash with this man:

Backsplash, I mean, backsplash. (And here my weakness for burly mermen reveals itself...). Woody pretended to be intent on finishing the impressive backsplash and ignored my repeated requests for him to warble "Under the Sea" while putting up sticky tile mastic. I swear, he really never takes my needs into account. Here is the result of his handiwork:

Woody and I agree that this makes our kitchen look even FANCIER! We feel like we're in one of those fancy home design magazines except we have no countertop on our kitchen island right now and we don't wear heavy plastic angular eye glasses and we don't have a bazillion bucks.

Here's a closer view:

We are accepting any and all offers to clean our stove. We will cook for you. Just clean our stove. Please.