ATB

While we would like to think we have a beagle adventurous enough to need an APB taken out on her, we have what is better described as an ATB -- an all-terrain beagle. She will lounge on whatever terrain there is to be had.

Exhibit A: beagle outfitted for great outdoors and adamantly resisting interaction with anything that might be described as, er, grass or trees.

"Yes, I see the beauty of nature..."

"But I prefer to smell your shoes."

"Or lay on this cozy and decadent concrete."

"You all bore me. I refuse to be some pawn in your pathetic effort to recommune with nature."

Exhibit B: beagle infiltrating the marital bed of Woody & Rachel.

"The word 'consummate' means nothing to me. Now get out of my face."

"You bore me. However, once I fully wake up my doggie derriere
is going on your pillow. And wiggling."

Exhibit C: beagle after rich meal with red wine

"Exposing all eight of your nipples is so much better than just unbuttoning your pants."